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The battle grows hotter. The arrows are flying. All around me I hear, the screams of the dying. Where is the one with scepter and sword? Where is the King? Where is the Lord? My courage is fading, my faith fled away. Is there no one able to save me this day?

I labor for the rest God has promised to me. I long for the day, when He sets me free. I can't go on, and continue to fight. Take me home now. Bring me into the light. Let me lie down in the bosom of God. Cover my body with daisies and sod. And there, I'll sleep till the trumpet shall sound, when with all of the saints, I am heaven bound.

Sorry, Lord, I can't be your son. I'm too tired to believe. It's over. It's done. Why did you call me? Why did you bother? How can I endure till your judgment is over? My spirit is willing, but my flesh is so weak, I barely have strength your face to seek. I pound on your door. I knock and I knock, but I feel like I'm beating my head on a rock. Open Yourself up to me, I implore. I need your help. I can't take any more!

Grant to me that I should see your vast plan, of investing yourself in a weak, mortal man. To share your glory? Surely, you jest. You'll give me your life? You'll grant me rest? Then, open my eyes, Lord, that I may see, what you have planned eternally for me. Speak to me, Lord. Let me hear you say how you are helping me, to survive this long day. Show me your purpose. Take away my fright. Hold me in your bosom, throughout this long night. And when I awake, at the break of day, I'll rejoice greatly. My fear's fled away.

But still, I don't think I can be your son. I see too much work here that needs to be done. There's no one to turn to but you, only you. So, I guess I'll "hang in there" until you are through. And when you are finished, and I'm gleaming like gold, You'll say, "Look what I made from that lump of coal."

by Jan Austin Antonsson

October, 1996

Jan and Lenny Antonsson

17178 Highway 59, Neosho, MO 64850 (Snail Mail)

Faxes from the Fiery Furnace, Chapter Three

"Armageddon, Final Victory"

The Glory Road


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and last updated on 04/03/09.